If a man is lost and doesn’t know who he is…if he is unable to even pinpoint what it is in life that he wants, how can we trust that he can plant seeds of growth into his child and it nourish beautifully? We all know what happens when you assume right? ASSUMPTION makes an Ass.
A lot of the times, we’re sleeping with grown boys who look like a man, hell they might even talk like one but behind that body is a lost boy who also grew up without a father. So yes I agree we need to stop this detrimental cycle but we also need to understand who we are dealing with including their past, before we lay down with them because some of them are just empty vessels with a piece of good wood.
Accountability is the key as well. We have to be able to recognize when we’ve made a decision that might not have been thoroughly thought out and find ways to prevent this in the future. When it comes to being broken, I’d like to believe that men and women handle it differently especially when cheating is involved. Like I’ve stated in my other post titled Before you Cheat…STOP HERE!, you have to really put forth an effort with your current situation before resorting to cheating. As a woman, I tend to handle situations out of emotions which has been something I’ve been working on in order to change.
For this very reason, if I am having a heated conversation and find myself getting upset, I’d suggest us coming back at a later time and finish the chat. I try not to just react at that moment because my judgement may be cloudy. This has taken me a lot of time through trials and tribulations to even recognize my problem. Before, oh I was a hot head! I’m cursing you out on sight and anything that you say, I could care less. Granted, I was never the physical altercation type of gal but I’d be the first to admit, some of the words I would say could have got me punched if said to the wrong one.
I realized as I got older that this behavior was in no way okay and I needed to change not just for those that I interacted with or dated, but mainly for myself. For this reason, I had to notice the pattern in men that I had been dating. That was my first step in revamping Bree. I did good for a few years until I got into a relationship with a friend whom I had known for quite some time. We were both single and figured “why not?” Well, I should have left him right where he was. Long story short, he brought that firecracker back out of me and I hated it. I realized at that moment that he had to go.
Men, it is very important when you are going through stuff and it doesn’t make sense to you (a shift in emotions with no warning, explosive behavior, dependency on drugs or alcohol increases), please seek help.
After speaking with his mother who was trying to get me to persuade him to go to therapy, I was informed that he had been diagnosed as being bipolar. His random breakdowns with the crying which then switched to anger were all related. You ever meet someone who may have things going on and you really can’t put your finger on it, but for a quick second you start to begin thinking it’s actually YOU? That became me up until I spoke with his mom. I was able to confirm it when I went through his bags at my place and found his medication bottle full of pills, yet past due on the refill date.
Long story short, things escalated between us and it got physical. At that point, he had to go and quick. I refused to allow someone to not only bring me out of my character but also create a demon within me because they were not happy nor in their right mind.
We as women need to do better with who we get into relationships with because a lot of these guys are broken and guess what? A lot of us women are living in denial with our own flaws and unsolved problems. Transparency is real. Once you get to a point where you are able to be true to yourself, you’ll want others to follow suit.
Before we lay down, we need to start checking these minds and behaviors to see just what we’re getting ourselves into. A fun time is temporary but once you bring a child into this world, the tables are extended.
Mental Health is important. Do not be afraid to get yourself evaluated or even visit a therapist for more guidance…save yourself and those you love. Definitely like, comment and share this post! Make sure you also subscribe to receive notifications on any of my upcoming posts – you will not be disappointed!
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