Before you Cheat…STOP HERE!

MEN and WOMEN cheat. There, I said it. Who’s to blame for this act? YOU ARE TO BLAME.

Far too many times we fail to pay attention to all of the signs and it is not until things have crumbled far beyond repair in both party’s eyes, that we then want to blame the other for cheating. Have you ever stopped to think “Why do I want to cheat?” Have you ever paid close attention to the things you and your partner use to do, but don’t anymore? Are you more part of the problem or ARE you the problem?

It’s easier to say that making the relationship work is the right solution than going outside of it. But have we really thought of the true reasons why men and women cheat? When you notice changes within your partner, do you actually talk with them about it or do you assume you know what the issue is?

Let me give you men a few hints at what could be affecting your lady if she’s not as intimate as normal with you. If I’m wrong then guess what? At least this would have prompted dialogue between the two of you so my missions is accomplished!

Reasons Why Your Woman Might Have Change:

  • She works daily and her job is very strenuous and/or she’s in school.
  • You have small babies that she has been attending to more than you.
  • It’s that time of the month and/or she’s on birth control.
  • She questions her attractiveness because of her body changes.
  • You’re not helping out around the house or contributing as she feels you should in the relationship.
  • You’re CHEATING.

Now I am a woman and so I cannot sit and develop a list as to why men cheat but based on many discussions with my guy friends, ladies, here are some of the reasons I’ve heard:

Reasons Why Your Man Might Change:

  • He feels the relationship happened too quickly and/or he’s not ready to settle down.
  • He is experiencing body changes and might not feel attractive creating insecurities.
  • You don’t show him affection and/or attention.
  • You’re always busy or going out with your friends.
  • No positive male support.
  • His job is very stressful and he doesn’t think you soothe him.
  • He’s just over the relationship but don’t want to hurt you by leaving.
  • No positive history on growing up around healthy relationships.

We need to always be sure we are discussing our views on the different types of marriages prior to getting into them because you just might end up dating someone who believe being non-monogamous. The key to it all is being able to talk and gain a better understanding of who you are in a relationship with and why they feel this way. They can simply be going through some life changes that take time or they might need to see that you care.

In 2016, where the population for the United States was at 323,127,513…there were 2,251,411 marriages. However in 2017, there were 787,251 with a population of 270,423,493 according to the CDC. That excludes California, Hawaii, Indiana, Minnesota and New Mexico.

Of course the reasons for these divorces vary but the point of the matter is – you cannot write off your wife or husband once you’ve gotten to that type of commitment. Every relationship takes effort, time, understanding and the ability to be open to one another. A lot of times, cheating can be avoided if you just talked with your partner to see why they were experiencing these changes.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re noticing a difference, before you step out, sit down and ask these questions:

  • Is there something I can do to help?
  • What can we do to get back to how we were?

Before you cheat, stop here. You want to bring focus on finding a solution as not just their partner but as a team. This can open up dialogue between you two and hopefully understanding with the problem.

If you have other ways of facing problems in relationships that I have not covered, comment below and help someone restore their bond!


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