It’s Not You Sis!

As a single black woman living on the outskirts of Atlanta, there are a few things I’ve come to notice when out in public, and I catch eyes with a gentleman. At first, I thought this was an issue I had all to myself, but the more I conversed with other sisters, I realized that this is actually happening. Regardless of the ages, I believe a lot of women share these things in common, or else there wouldn’t be a need to write about them. Hold against your seat, and let’s go for a little ride. Are you ready?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

1. We look at each other, but no one speaks first.

Okay, this was the first thing I noticed when I first moved down from the northeast to Georgia. For the longest time, I questioned what was wrong with me when I saw the same behavior with men that I’d come across while on my social prowl [out to socialize with complete strangers]. Guys would make direct eye contact me and smile. Out of me being flattered, I’d give a warm smile and look away thinking, “any second he’s going to come over and speak.” Nope. Not at all. I’d look back over and literally catch him glancing at me, but that’s all he’d do. THAT’S ALL THEY’D DO. Now I will admit, the times’ things like this happened, I would sometimes get up and walk over to the kick the conversation off, and numbers were exchanged. But I get my sisters who refuse to make the first move. So how can we get past the first step [eye contact] and actually move forward?

Someone has to make the first move and understand that even with the risk of rejection being present, there’s also a chance that you might not be rejected.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

As a single black woman living on the outskirts of Atlanta, there are a few things I’ve come to notice when out in public, and I catch eyes with a gentleman. At first, I thought this was an issue I had all to myself, but the more I conversed with other sisters, I realized that this is actually happening. Regardless of the ages, I believe a lot of women share these things in common, or else there wouldn’t be a need to write about them. Hold against your seat, and let’s go for a little ride. Are you ready?

2. Sometimes your King and Queens aren’t in your every day social hangouts.

Let’s face it – the clubs are overrated. I remember I used to frequent this one spot in Sandy Springs, GA, at first, every Saturday. They had an excellent comedy lineup, and with me still being new to the area, this was the best thing for me. Well, after about two months, I picked up Fridays as well for the “Grown & Sexy” night. Guess what I noticed? The same people that were there Fridays were the same ones I would see Saturdays too. It was a great place to meet people for social networking, but I had no expectancy to meet my Mr. Right there.

Photo by Team Maestroo on Pexels.com

Try a different set up such as the sports bars, car wash, Home Depot, Lowes, Auto Zone, major sporting events, and even school events. Yes, I said it. Sometimes the fathers who attend the baseball, basketball, and football events at your child’s school are single. What better way to settle two things at once by catching your Mr. Right while supporting your child at the same time? Many men enjoy doing repairs around the house or working on their cars, so these department stores could also bring you around eligible bachelors. The point of it all is to step outside of your comfort zone before you settle with online dating [I’d advise against it personally].before you settle with online dating [I’d advise against it personally]. There are also festivals, specially themed cruises available for those looking to meet a certain type of man.

3. Afraid of commitment?

When you actually think you’ve met the man of your dreams who shares the same great qualities of life with, and you two have matching goals – things just come to a big halt. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just…stationary. Often, we find ourselves in “ships” [we don’t know what it is?!] with no type of progress, and it is as if someone is afraid of making it official.


Identify what it is that you and your hunk want, early in the game. That way, no one wastes time and creates frustrating moments if you’re not on the same page. Do not dance or sugarcoat what it is that you want to say either. Speak your mind and what it is that you desire to move towards so that both parties are in the clear knowing from the beginning. If he walks away from the situation after that discussion, then you’ve dodged a headache in the future. What he says at that moment, believe it, and do not make excuses for him.

That’s it for now. Make sure you subscribe and check back for some more girl talk where I will list the many other issues I’ve noticed with dating that I know we all can relate to.


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